Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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