she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
