When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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