i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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