there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
