I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
