What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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