Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
