You really coming over, don't trick.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
