Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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