Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
