You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
