i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
