He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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