she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
