bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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