i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
