we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
