just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
