I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
