Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
