So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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