so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
