I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
