after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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