I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
