ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
