you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
