Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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