butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
