i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
