And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
