Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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