the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
