We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
