carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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