her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
