Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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