I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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