If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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