my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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