I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
