it was like eating out sand paper
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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