You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
