Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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