Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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