Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
