Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
