i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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