Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
