so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
